I’ve touched your lips. I’ve spent hours pressed against your skin. We’ve made music and art together. You wrote songs about me, and in return I kept you safe and warm and dry. We touched, we played, you even told me I was always yours. Everything was so magical back when our relationship was shiny and new. And now you want to go on without me. I understand, really I do, and I honestly wish you luck. I know it’s for the best, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I know I should have seen this coming. I always bottle things up, but I’m going to be clear with you right now.
You call me cold and hard, but you made me this way. I remember when you decided that you couldn’t live without me, but not before you stretched me and tested me and shattered me into a thousand pieces. But I’m grateful because I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. That’s what made me stay around every time you burst my bubble.
Once you saw what I was capable of, you couldn’t get enough of me. I was the answer to all your problems. Now I look back I feel almost exploited. This is probably easy for you because I’m so disposable. I’m just sorry that you didn’t see then how toxic I can be. I didn’t know it either, but I think deep down I could always feel it. I just hope it’s not too late for you to find peace; we’ve spent so much time together that you’ve forgotten life before me. I have become so engrained in your life that you don’t even know I’m here. You look right through me. You look at me and all you see is money – and you say I’m the material one. Anyway, you wanted transparency, so here it is.
I want you to know that I will always be here.